


Blue and Grey

by unicornseverywhere



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cutting, Depression, Dorks, Erwin is an asshole, Fluff, Ghost!Eren, How Do I Tag, I don't hate Erwin, I promise, I'm Sorry, Kidnapping, M/M, Suicide, What Have I Done, but it has a happy ending, ereri, i just needed a bad guy, i know it says major character death, kenny is a nice guy, paranormal activity, weird conversations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-11-17
Packaged: 2018-04-20 19:29:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4799540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unicornseverywhere/pseuds/unicornseverywhere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Eren Jaeger was on the front page of the newspapers yet again. Most people have forgotten who he is,forgotten the disaster that became his life after he was in a plane accident with his now dead parents, forgotten how he was left an orphan at 9 years old and how no foster family would keep him more than a few months,forgotten the hell that had taken over his life, and he was okay with that. He wanted it to stay like that. Someone just had a big mouth."</p>
<p>---------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p>"Defining a person is hard. Almost impossible, but Levi Ackerman could be considered the very definition of the typical teenager. He attended high school and had average grades, had friends who he hanged out with, had an uncle who took care of him and cared for him, and he could consider himself happy."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A story based on the song 'blue and grey' by Daughter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Boy who cried Pearls

Eren Jaeger was on the front page of the newspapers yet again. Most people have forgotten who he is,forgotten the disaster that became his life after he was in a plane accident with his now dead parents, forgotten how he was left an orphan at 9 years old and how no foster family would keep him more than a few months,forgotten the hell that had taken over his life, and he was okay with that. He wanted it to stay like that. Someone just had a big mouth.

The reason for his current visit to the front page are a unfortunately just as sad and morbid as the ones presented to you above. Eren Jaeger committed suicide at the age of 18.

Such a young age, all his life in front of him, seems a waste, doesn’t it ? But isn’t spending all the time you have been given as an unhappy person a waste as well ? Eren wasn’t happy. He never smiled, never hang out with his friends, maybe because he didn’t have any, he didn’t eat, he didn’t enjoy living. All he did was cry. Cry and sing. All the time. Now, if only the reason for all this was himself, maybe things would have been different, but no, he wasn’t. Someone had taken over his life. Someone had taken away his happiness. Someone had taken away his freedom.

Enter Erwin Smith. One of the most charming and dangerous people you can encounter in the city of New York. He is a rich bastard, with no humanity and a desire for...well, more money. Now you must wonder, what kind of connection could Eren have had with this man. He was his hostage.

They had met years ago. Eren was in the park near his family’s house at the time and he was crying on the swings. It was cold and cloudy outside so no people were to be seen on the streets.

Now might be a good time to mention Eren’s… ability.

Since the plane crash, Eren had had a special kind of power. Whenever he cried, his tears turned to pearls. Real, and undoubtedly precious and expensive kind of pearls. Nobody knew about it, Eren never cried in front of others anymore, but he saved each and everyone of those pearls. He didn’t question it either. He knew they would be his way out of his own hell once he was 18.

The last 5 years since the event that had ruined his life had made Eren live through what some people would call ‘the system’. He had been in the so called ‘care’ of so many foster families, all of which decided he was too broken for them sooner or later. He was just waiting, day by day, to be sent at the shelter once again. Only to be picked up a few weeks later if he was lucky. The process repeated itself every few months. It was routine by now. He had been with this particular family for longer than he’d been expecting. He was ought to be ‘gently removed’ from his living space soon, and ‘kindly returned’ to the shelter.

The park had always been his favorite place. No matter the family he was staying with, he found the tranquility and nature surrounding him as a sort of small blessing. It was only normal for him to be at a park when he had one of his ‘fits’. He had PTSD that was never treated, even with the poor attempts of some of his family. He would start crying from time to time, shaking with the powerful sobbs that brought him to his knees at times. Having horrible flashbacks, feeling so guilty for being the only one that remained alive, and having nightmares almost every single time didn’t exactly help his growing depression either. He was simply and utterly broken at the fragile age of 14.

So he was at the park, crying, on a cloudy and cold day. An occurrence much too usual for him. He was on a swing, but not swinging. He was quiet, so he easily heard the sound of steps. He didn’t look up. He didn’t raise his head to see the man that had taken the swing next to him give him an interested look. He didn’t move his eyes from the ground enough to see the malicious smirk forming on the man’s face. Maybe he’d regret it years later, but he didn’t look up even when the man took his hand. He didn’t fight when he started to be dragged out of the park. He didn’t scream or struggle to get out of the man’s grasp as he put him in the back seat of a car. Why would he do any of that ? He didn’t have anyone to miss, or anyone to miss him, so the possibility of him being declared missing and taken seriously was slim. He also didn’t have anything to lose. He didn’t have a happy life. He used to be a cheery kid with an unshakeable enthusiasm when his parents were alive, but he hadn’t had determination in his eyes for years. What was the worst that could happen ? If it hit rock bottom and this man was a rapper than he’d kill himself. If it was a murder he was in luck. If he wanted him to be a slave.. That he could do. If he had enough will in him. There would always be the first option.

That had been 4 years ago. It turns out that the man, who had later presented himself as Erwin was in fact not a rapist or a killer. Just a man on his power run, determined to do anything to keep his place in the top. He had somehow found out about Eren. Everything about Eren. So he decided to take it upon himself to make ‘better use’ of the pearls than Eren could ever make. At least that’s what he said. He hadn’t made Eren into a slave. On the contrary, he had treated him nicely. Treated him like a person. Something the young boy hadn’t experienced in a long time. If Eren hadn’t been forced to cry every single day, he would have developed quite the Stockholm Syndrome. The tears he shed were reminder enough of who Erwin really was. Not a parental figure he could look up to, but his captor.

Crying every day was not hard for a man as broken as Eren Jaeger. He knew there were to be consequences if he didn’t comply with the ‘terms’ the man that had taken away his freedom provided him with. He never wanted to see what the consequences were, so he never ‘experienced’.

His life was blank. He had access to television, but no phones or internet. He was still declared missing, even after a year, in which time everyone had stopped looking. So he sang. He had a beautiful voice. Not that anyone had ever told him that. He sang and cried and dreamt that one day he’ll have the freedom he never knew he’d miss so much, returned to him. He didn’t have high hopes.

The next years his freedom seemed to be ripped away from him. Even if nothing changed. Maybe that was the problem. Years were passing by. And nothing was changing. Eren felt trapped now, more than ever. He’d been there for 4 years. He was turning 18 in 2 days. He was miserable, but this made him have determination in his eyes. For the first and maybe the last.

His relationship with Erwin was an amiable one. They would talk sometimes. Eren knew a few things about the older man. Like the fact that he was a businessman, even if that could include a rather large array of particular occupations. He also knew that Erwin was 35 years old and very rich for his age. He never asked questions about family. He didn’t want to know, and in return, his kidnapper didn’t ask anything either. He had never requested for anything from the man, but this was an exception. He knew he had to try. They weren’t living together. Which Eren had found strange when the whole ordeal had taken place. When does a captor leave his pray unattended. As it turns out, Eren was leaving at the highest floor of a building in New York. A building Erwin owned. The man lived on the floor under him, and had cameras that would track the boy’s moves, if necessary. It never was. Eren never stepped out of place. But today, he was going to ask for this when the food was to be brought to him.

The door to ‘his’ apartment opened and revealed a handsome man, with blond hair slicked back, giving him a very professional look. His suit was also making him seem quite stiff and unapproachable, like you weren’t worth of his time. His eyes, his deep blue eyes were calm. Judging. Calculating. And telling you he knew all your secrets. The man was carrying a tray of food, that looked rather delicious, and had a suitcase in his other hand. He stepped in and went straight for the kitchen, without so much as a hello. Not that Eren had big expectations on formalities at this point. He made his way to the kitchen, and with all the courage he had, opened his mouth to ask for one thing. The only thing he wanted. But was beat to it.

- _I’ll come by tonight to collect the pearls and bring you another tray of food. Make sure you eat. Understood ?_

_-Yeah.. Erwin, I wanted to ask for something._

The man turned to him, his back now leaning on the counter. All his attention was on Eren. Undivided and quite intense. It made Eren squirm in place. Eventually, he gave a nod, and that was sign enough for him to continue.

- _So I’m turning 18 in 2 days and I wanted to ask for something._

- _You want a birthday present ?_ Erwin asked, almost incredulous.

- _Sort of. Would you take me to the roof ? I just want to look at the city for a bit. Maybe it would give me a little ‘freedom’_. Eren wasn’t sure if his choice of words was the best but he didn’t want to reformulate and seem unsure of himself.

Erwin took his time considering the question. He didn’t answer the young man. Not even as he stood up from the counter. He simply headed to the door without looking back. Eren thought all hope was lost, until that night when his kidnapper approved, with a few conditions of course.

Eren wasn’t allowed to be alone on the roof (he never expected to be) and he wasn’t allowed more than an hour (he didn’t need that much). The terms seemed fairly simple and he agreed immediately. He went to sleep that night almost happy. Almost excited.

The minute he had stepped on top of that roof was the minute his decision had been made. Erwin was a few steps back, giving him the smallest amount of space it would take not to feel crowded. He took a deep breath and counted to ten. He had approximately 15 meters to the edge of the building and at least 500 meters to the ground after that. He looked back at the older man and gave him a small, fake smile. Something like thank you. At least he hoped that’s what it looked like. He made sure he was far enough from Erwin before he broke into a full sprint. Erwin started running after him as soon as his mind caught up to the younger man’s actions. The screamed words of ‘ _No Eren! Stop!_ ’ were to be the last thing the boy who cried pearls would ever hear.


	2. The boy who sang blue and grey songs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi is introduced. The two boys 'meet' for the first time.

Defining a person is hard. Almost impossible, but Levi Ackerman could be considered the very definition of the typical teenager. He attended high school and had average grades, had friends who he hanged out with, had an uncle who took care of him and cared for him, and he could consider himself happy.

A typical day in his life was never overly exciting, but maybe that was Levi’s fault. He wasn’t an excited person by nature. He was a rather stoic young man, with a crude and blunt personality, but his kind and caring heart made the people worth staying, remain in his life.

There are things Levi has only heard about the world. People describe the world as a cruel but beautiful place. Maybe it’s presumptuous of him to think that the world isn’t so much cruel as it is selective,  but he’s never experienced any real hardship in life. Yes, his parents had died when he was little, but the fact that he was an infant made it a bit easier for him. Considering he doesn’t remember them. And as he always thought, it was just natural selection.

What Levi could not and probably never will understand, was why this beautiful boy in front of him was staying so still. Why did that peaceful smile on that gorgeous face make him so uneasy. Why wasn’t he breathing?

The sound of sirens blaring next to him, the yellow and black band stretched around the area where the boy lied, the neighbours whispering, the blood pooling around that beautiful chestnut hair, soaking it in a crimson color that didn’t fit it. Those should all be dead giveaways, but Levi seemed to not want to accept it.

This stunning boy in front of him was dead. He had fallen (jumped?) of this building. Why would that happen ? This can’t be natural selection. Why would the universe or whatever greater force was out there take such a lovely human being from the realms of the living? How was that natural ?

Levi had never questioned how the world worked. He just worked with it. As a wise person said, ‘Ignorance is bliss.’ He didn’t think he was ignorant. Not until he saw what was supposed to be a living, breathing, smiling boy lying in his own blood at the foot of a 500 meter building with people surrounding the cold, still body.

He clutched his chest and felt himself falling. He felt the concrete hit his knees with a force that was sure to leave bruises, but he couldn’t care less. He was hurting. He was devastated by the death of a complete stranger. He could feel his eyes water and the most annoying thing of them all was that he couldn’t understand his reaction. Was he so shocked by his discovery that the world is indeed Cruel, maybe more cruel than beautiful that he started crying? Why would his chest constrict every time he caught a glimpse of the unmoving boy in front of him ? Death was a cruel faith, yes, especially for someone so young, who couldn’t be much older than Levi, but for him to feel physical pain? This was inexplicable.

People started scattering after the body was finally moved in an ambulance. Levi stared for a little while after the vehicle left at the police man still inspecting the ‘crime scene’. Was this even a crime ?

_-I’m sorry, but what happened here ?_ He asked one of the man that was closer to the yellow and black line, but still on the other side of it. The man turned to him and gave him a look akin to pity.

- _Go home kid. You’ll hear about it on the news._

- _Would you at least tell me his name ? Who was he ?_ Levi was desperate to know something about him. Anything.

- _From what we can tell he was Eren Jaeger. He was declared missing 4 years ago. Guess we found him now._ The man said with a resigned sigh.

Levi’s legs started shaking with each step that brought him closer to home. He opened the door to the two story house without announcing that he was inside. Kenny was still at work, so there was no point. He took the steps, and entered the last door at the end of the hallway. His room.

Kenny and Levi lived in a fairly decent house. The outside was painted in a light cream color, all the doors were made of dark brown wood, same as the window sills, which gave the building a nice contrast. The inside of the house was spacious enough. The ground floor had a nice kitchen with dark brown counters and a very simplistic look to it. The living room, which held a TV and a game station , and on the opposite wall a couch. In the middle of the room stood a beautiful coffee table surrounded by bean chairs, and the carpet and family photos in the room made it feel very cousy. There was also a bathroom and an office. The top floor held Kenny and Levi’s rooms, as well as a guest room, and a bathroom. It was pretty simple.

Levi let the door to his room slam behind him as he made his way to his desk, where his computer stood. He opened it and waited rather impatiently until the device was fully charged. He opened an internet browser and wrote the name he’d been repeating for the last 10 minutes as to not forget it. As if he could. Maybe it would be too soon for the news to be out, but he was going to look anyway. What he found was a lot more than he had expected. A lot more information was given to him, and he didn’t know how to react to it. The man that he saw lying dead on the street just half an hour ago had lived such a tragic life. You almost couldn’t call it that. A life. Or living, for that matter.

Something had changed in Levi. He wasn’t ignorant anymore. And being open to the true nature of things after a life in the darkness cannot be easy. He saw everything around him as being cruel. The beautifuls were rare and in between. He could no longer think about his average teenage life when the image of a surely pure and innocent young boy kept appearing in his mind. He felt guilty. The reason behind the impromptu attitude change would be easy to explain if it wasn’t that Levi wasn’t guilty of anything other than ignorance. Most people live perfectly fine after finding out they are ignorant. Some people never find out, and some had known all along.

 **  
** However, the shift had been made inside of Levi, so now, the effects of the change were to take place. Depression. He himself wouldn’t qualify it as that, but it was the closes thing to the definition. He stopped hanging out. His friends were all worried about him, but he would not tell them what was wrong. He stopped eating as much. Kenny was home enough to know that he didn’t even come out of his room anymore. All he did was sing at his old acoustic guitar. In the span of a few weeks, Levi had become a different person. A person that was no longer ignorant. A person that saw the cruel world for what it was and had a hard time handling the truth. A person who fell into the hell called mental illness. A person who sang blue and grey songs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. I'm horrible. I promise there will be actual interraction between them next chapter! Also school has started, so you know, updating is a bit hard. Thank you for all the feedback ! It makes it a lot more fun to write when I know someone enjoys my writing! See ya next chapter, thanks for reading!  
> P.S. Sorry for the short chapter. Forgive me humble readers!


	3. Life after death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He decided to start with the most logical question. “Are you okay ?” he asked in a gentle voice. Only after voicing his concern did Eren realize that this question was as dumb as any other. Of course the guy wasn’t okay, he had his wrists cut open and he looked pale as a sheet of paper.

Waking up after a 500 meters fall surely hurts like a bitch. But waking up after 500 meters fall shouldn’t be experienced by anyone. Because you’re not supposed to wake up. It’s physically impossible to remain alive. So when Eren looks up at the sky after he made a jump off of one of the tallest buildings he’s ever been in, he is understandably confused. He remembers jumping, that’s for sure. He also remembers the amazing feeling of falling. It was truly liberating, and if that was the last thing he’d ever feel, Eren was more than okay with it.

People start gathering around him. He can’t see them yet, as he hasn’t moved from his place, still staring up at the sky, but he can hear them whisper or shout. He hears sirens somewhere in the distance and he has a feeling they’re headed his way.

He stands up after a few minutes. Tired of not knowing what happens around him. He’s a bit afraid of what Erwin will do when he finds out he survived, but the small fear he experiences is nothing compared to the absolute panic and shock he feels when he looks down at the place he just rose from, just to see himself.

People clearly haven’t noticed him, seeing as they are still looking at the body on the ground. He looks down at himself only to realize he’s translucent. Well that answers one question. But makes him want to ask 3 more. He’s dead, that much is obvious, but why is he still… conscious. What even is he ? A ghost ? A spirit ?

One person catches Eren’s eye. A boy is sitting on his knees, clutching his chest, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. He looks devastated. The young man stays behind even after his body is taken away in an ambulance. And for whatever reason he choses not to go after it. Maybe this was the freedom he never had. Maybe this was his second chance. He wanted to know who the boy with watery eyes was. He was certain he had never met the young man. So why would he be so sad over Eren’s death ?

He heard the police officer talk to the teenager. He could hear the desperation in the youth’s voice. He had so many questions, but he chose to simply follow the boy.

He found out over time that the raven’s name was Levi, that he was 17, he lived with his uncle Kenny, and had an amazing voice. He was beautiful, in Eren’s opinion. The dead young man felt quite stalker-ish for following around his new ‘companion’ or watching him sleep or interact with others, but he discovered a lot about his new state of ‘living’ in the span of a few weeks.

Eren didn’t feel tired, but he could sleep. He didn’t feel hungry, but he could eat. He could feel things, and make physical contact with objects. He could move freely, but for some reason, he never left Levi’s side from the moment he saw the other boy. Maybe he was afraid of the outside world. He had been kidnapped for 4 years before he died, and now, Levi had become a normality. A constant. He knew Levi, or so he liked to think, but he didn’t know anything else, so he’d rather stay put for now. He’ll probably have a long time to do anything else.

The only thing he dreaded was seeing Levi fall. It was clear that the younger man was slowly losing himself. He ate less and less everyday, he wasn’t seeing his friends, he looked tired more times than not, even though he slept a lot. He woke up screaming and in tears as well. It was painful to watch. Eren wanted to help. He really did. He tried hugging Levi a few nights after he woke up from nightmares, but it didn’t seem to have any effect. He tried to talk to Levi, even if that was stupid, he knew it was probably impossible for him to be heard. He was really sorry for the beautiful man he was slowly falling for.

Must have been irony, right ? To fall in love with someone after you die. To never be able to talk to them, to hold them, to kiss them, to _love_ them. 

One day started this all. One day is all it takes for an entire row of events to follow. It was a surprise none the less when one day, Eren woke up, without the memory of going to sleep. He wasn’t in Levi’s home now. Which only drove the young man in a further state of confusion. He was a bystander. He was watching something he’d never wish to see and his body was frozen, not that if he could move he would make such a big difference. He was watching as Levi was sitting on a bench, in the middle of a lonely park, his wrists cut open, blood pouring out of them at an alarming pace. He forced his limbs to move and was at Levi’s side in no time. He took the raven’s wrists in his hands and stared in shock. He didn’t know what to do. He decided that stopping the bleeding was the most important thing to do, so he took his shirt off, ripped it and made a thick bandage around both of the injured wrists.

The blood stopped flowing after some time. Eren just stood there and looked at Levi’s peaceful face and for the first time, he understood how the raven had felt when he saw Eren lying on the ground after jumping off a building. He felt powerless. He was. He was so in love with Levi and for the first time since it happened, he wished he hadn’t died. He wished his life wouldn’t have been so messed up. But then again, if none of those things happened, he wouldn’t have met Levi in the first place. Met being loosely used in this context.

He waited and waited for Levi to wake up, but nothing happened. He took that beautiful face in his hands for the first time, and he could feel its coldness. He wondered if the younger man could feel him as well. Two stormy grey eyes blinked open, and looked at him like he was a dead man. Maybe because he was.

Levi might say that having a nightmare about committing suicide is scary, but dreaming of a dead boy that you are infatuated with is worse, because it is dangerously close to going nuts. So what, he’s dead in the real world so I’ll just make him up in my head ? That is not something Levi had in mind. Yes, he had had a rough couple of weeks, and yes he was depressed, and yes he thought of Eren Jaeger more than an average person would deem normal, but he didn’t want to see dead men. Did he ?

There was a moment of eerie quiet and calmness. Nothing moved, neither of them blinked or breathed. It was still. The first to move was Eren. He slowly retracted his hands from the ravens face and folded them in his lap, still not taking his eyes of the man beside him. He wanted to say something, but he didn’t know what would be appropriate in this situation.

He decided to start with the most logical question. “ _Are you okay ?”_ he asked in a gentle voice. Only after voicing his concern did Eren realize that this question was as dumb as any other. Of course the guy wasn’t okay, he had his wrists cut open and he looked pale as a sheet of paper.

Levi was dumbfounded. He didn’t know what to make of the situation, but he decided after a minor internal crisis that the wisest thing to do right now would be to answer the question that was thrown his way.

“ _I’m alright, I suppose.”_ It was the truth, as far as the raven knew. He was as well as he could be considering his physical state. His mind on the other hand, was scrambling to make sense of what it was seeing. He had realized it was a dream as soon as he came back from his little suicide escapade, what he couldn’t comprehend for the life of him was what Eren was doing here. Why did he imagine Eren, of all people in his mind at his weakest moment ? Asking so many question without demanding answers was not something Levi did, so he decided to do what he’s used to.

“ _What are you doing here?”_

Many things were running through the brunette’s mind when he heard those words. Some were thoughts like _‘I don’t know what I’m doing here either’_ , some were questioning why that was the first thing for Levi to ask, and some were just non-sense ‘ _His lips look so soft and his voice is so smooth.’_

“ _To be quite honest, I don’t know. I don’t even know where we are. Why did you do that to yourself ? Do you know who I am ? Do you know where we -”_

“ _Slow down. One question at a time. I have things to ask too. I know you’re Eren Jaeger, I’m pretty sure I’m dreaming right now. What I don’t understand, is why you’re here. Why did I imagine you of all people ?”_

“ _Okay so this is your dream. How do you know who I am ?”_ He wanted to hear it. He had been there when Levi had google-searched him. Which still seemed odd to him, but he needed the raven to say it.

Their conversations put many of their individual questions at ease, but it was not nearly enough. Both of the boys had a new enquiry for each matter that was answered, and Levi could only dream for so long. There was no certainty that they would ever talk again, and the raven still wasn’t sure if he wanted them to. It brought a level of uneasiness, the thought of talking to a dead man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely people ! I'm sorry for the long wait for this chapter, but my life has been pretty busy. I hope I didn't disappoint with their 1st actual interaction! Tell me your thought dear readers! Thanks for reading!


	4. Talking to a dead man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stuff happens and they talk. That's it. That's the chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first thing I want to say is that I'm so so sorry about not updating for so long ! My laptop was broken and now I got it fixed so you won't have to worry about that anymore. I finished the story in the meantime on my phone and tablet (because a month is a long time not to write anything and I would have gone crazy) and it will have 6 chapters. Next I really want to thank everyone that takes the time to read and leave any kind of feedback, you guys are the best. And without further ado, enjoy this chapter.

**Levi**

A few weeks ago, if you had told Levi that he would feel like he was being haunted, he would have laughed in your face and asked if you were high. Now, the story is completely different.

 

After his strange little dream that involved a certain blue-green eyed beauty, the teen had felt like he was being watched. His clothes never seemed to be in the same place he left them in, his computer appeared to be broken, since new tabs kept opening without any apparent reason, and he felt like someone was touching him from time to time. The entire experience seemed more than bizarre to the young man, but he didn’t want to give in to the feeling of insanity and start spouting non-sense about a possible ghost. Even though every instinct in his body told him to do so.

He never experienced such dreams again, and he didn’t know if he should be happy about it or not. He hadn’t been feeling happy about a lot of things lately, so he chose to treat this as a small blessing instead of a curse.

Summer vacation was going to start soon and Levi hated the idea. Just more time to stay isolated in his dark room, acting like the very definition of an angsty teenager. At least that’s how he saw himself. He was aware of the fact that he had changed, he didn’t know if for the better or worse. His behavior was a cause of concern for those around him, that much was obvious, so maybe he wasn’t in the best of places, but hey, at least now he wasn’t ignorant to the cruelty of the world.

 

On the very last day of school, Levi was forced to promise his friends that they would hang out and that he wouldn’t lock himself up away from the sun and light and become a vampire. His friends knew it would fall on deaf ears, but they had to try.

As soon as he got home, the raven-haired man opened his computer - because what else would he do on his very first day of freedom - and what he saw scared him more than he would have cared to admit. There was a message on his computer. An internet browser was open, a new tab that contained a simple text. ‘Hello Levi’. That was it, that was all it said. But it was more than enough. The teen knew he hadn’t left the message there. He didn’t remember doing so, and why would he leave a message for himself, stating his name in it ? His uncle was just as small of a possibility. He rarely went into Levi’s room when the boy wasn’t there, let alone going on his laptop.

Hackers could be the reason, but this had never happened before and it seemed too much of an innocent message to have a malicious meaning, but then again, what did he know, he was new to exactly how cruel people could be. He checked his files for anything new or something not being there anymore, but it was all as he had left it - except for the goddamn message.

He closed the lid to his laptop but left the browser open, the message still there. Maybe to make sure later that he wasn’t hallucinating after not eating the whole day, or maybe to have time to figure out what to do. He didn’t know what he was hoping to achieve with it, but he left, and forgot about it for a few hours, time in which he -thankfully- got something to eat, and then played his guitar to no-one but himself. He forgot about his dream about Eren, he forgot about his summer holiday starting, he forgot about the promise he made to his friends, he forgot about Kenny’s worried looks, and for the first time in forever, he thought about his parents. He never thought it had bothered him. Maybe he had been in denial all this time. He sang and sang, until his throat was sore, his fingers ached and his cheeks were stained with tears, and then he fell asleep.

**Eren**

Trying to communicate with someone from another plane of existence was hard. Trying to do so without scaring the shit out of them was even more so.

Eren started with basic things he had seen in movies. Moving things around, leaving doors open, even going so far as touching Levi. But he was starting to become frustrated with running into walls so much. The raven-haired man seemed to miss the hints, so Eren took it upon himself to make it bloody obvious. He tried to make out how the whole message-on-the-computer thing worked in the times when the other teen wasn't home. He didn't want to be caught by surprise when he wasn't ready. When he finally figured it out it took him a couple of days to think of what exactly to write to the man. What do you say when you try to communicate via a message from another space to your 'crush'. If you can call it that. He decided on a simple 'Hello Levi.' That should do the trick.

Seeing the raven's face going paler than it usually was, was not a pleasant feeling. It reminded Eren of that dream -more like nightmare- that Levi had. It reminded Eren of something he never wanted to see again. However, seeing him ignoring the message was unexpected. He was sure that it would get him to understand something. To react somehow! Eren was starting to believe Levi knew what was going on and chose to ignore him. It hurt to think like that, so the blue-green eyed man tried to stop. What he was expecting even less was seeing the teen cry because of it. He didn't know what the raven was thinking about but his heart was clenching at the sight. He wanted to run his thumb over Levi's cheeks and dry his tears. He wanted to kiss him and hold him and tell him everything would be alright. But he couldn't do any of that. And he never will.

When the teen finally fell asleep Eren was feeling conflicted. He decided to wait a few more hours before writing something else. He was not giving up on Levi.

 

* * *

Said man woke up with a headache, a clear sign that the day was going to be just great.

The first thing Levi did -because he rarely ate breakfast anymore- was to open up his computer. He had avoided it for long enough. He was pretty sure it was all just a dream and nothing was actually wrong with his computer. But law and behold there was the message. In the exact same spot it was left. Untouched.

He decided to do what he knew would work, just delete the message. He did exactly that, but what happened next was enough to send him to a mental health facility. He saw the letters being typed, but his keyboard wasn't moving. It was happening right before his eyes. Reading the message out loud didn't make things any better, but he did it anyway. _"How are you?"_

Was this a fucking joke? Things were starting to step on Levi's nerves and he was having none of it.

_"Who the hell are you?"_ Seemed a little hostile, but Levi couldn't help it. He didn't know what to do now but wait. He didn't hit enter, he just sat there and stared at the screen.

_"I'm Eren. Nice to talk to you again, Levi."_

Staring dumbly at the screen and not being able to form a coherent thought was Levi's first reaction, after that came cursing every possible entity out there -for what, he didn't know either- and then something close to resignation. He just gave up on fighting the entire thing. He'll just go with it and see where it takes him.

_"Hello Eren. I'm... Fucking confused as hell. What the fuck is happening?"_ He said he'll go with it, he never said he'll be nice or happy about it.

Eren was smiling from ear to ear, unable to keep his happiness in freight. This was finally happening. Levi wasn't denying his existence anymore and he was even engaging in a conversation with the brunet.

**  
** _"I'm glad we finally found a way to communicate! I'll explain everything.."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and as always, feedback is always appreciated ! See you soon! (I think I'll post the whole fic before the end of next week. You guys deserve it and it's finished anyway, so why wait right ?) Byeee !!


	5. Tragic Backstories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi share war stories and Levi has conflicted feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Lovely people! guess who decided to update today ? Yup, that would be me! This is the chapter before last, and I really hope you like it! Give me some feedback if you do, and constructive criticism is always appreciated ! See you next time! 
> 
> PS. sorry for the somewhat short chapter!

Levi was sitting in the exact same spot in front of his computer, still a bit freaked out by the whole thing but more than ready to get over it if it meant it would give him a way to talk to the man that had practically changed his life. As crazy as it may have seemed, Levi was willing to get over his cynicism and be happy with what he had right then and there.

Eren had just finished telling him the reason why he was currently... dead, and what had happened before and after his 'little' jump. From what Levi understood, the brunet had lived a truly horrible life for the last decade or so. No one should have to go through that, let alone be moved from family to family, from a so called home to another one. Levi was starting to think his life had been bliss, ignorant, ignorant bliss.

_"So how was your life before.. You know, the crash?"_ The raven knew it was a sensitive topic, but he needed to know that Eren had actually been happy at a point in his life, and that would give him hope, that maybe he could do it again, maybe Levi could help him be happy again. Though the younger man would have a lot of thinking to do about how to make a dead man happy.

_"Oh, it was wonderful, I absolutely loved my family. I had an amazing life before it happened."_

 

* * *

 

 

It was the 1st day of school and the Jaeger family was buzzing. The entire household had an electric feel to it. Everyone was excited and everyone had a big day, so no one had time to waste. Carla would drop Eren off on her way to her -assistant director of a fashion magazine- office and Grisha would take his own car to the hospital, he had a big surgery today and he couldn't afford to be late.

Breakfast was eaten in a small rush, and as soon as they were out the door they gave each other kisses and hugs and made their ways to their respective vehicles. It was the start of a new year for Eren and he couldn't be more excited.

* * *

 

When Carla got a call from the school saying that Eren had gotten into a fight and she had to go take him home, she did nothing more but sigh, shake her head and say she'll be there. When she heard that Eren was the one who had started the whole mess, well that was new. Eren got into a lot of fights, but only because he was always protecting his friends and his temper was bigger than his brain. He jumped head in, without any regard whatsoever for the consequences. This time, it seemed like something was different.

The young child went and hugged his mother as soon as he saw her. He was crying quietly into her skirt, so she bent down to pick up her baby boy. With a hushed voice she reassured him that everything would be alright. She was curious what happened, but knew better than to question her son right now. He was exhausted, visibly so, and she was not going to make him talk more. She could wait. All she needed to do now was show her little bundle of joy how much she loved him and that everything would be okay.

* * *

 

Eren woke up to the smell of pancakes and the sun shining on his face. He got off the bed with his usual smile on his small, chubby face, and climbed down the stairs to the kitchen that was smelling beautifully alluring. His mother chuckled softly when she saw him slightly stumbling his way, with a mop of brown hair on top of his head and still in his pajamas. His father was sitting in a chair at the head of the table, a newspaper in his hands and a cup of coffee layd in front of him. The fact that the man was home was surprising, considering the long hours he worked at the hospital. He was the best cardio-thoracic surgeon in the state, but that came with a price.

_-"Hi mom, hi dad."_ Eren said drowsily, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and taking a seat at the table, next to his father.

_-"Hi honey. We have some wonderful news."_ Carla answered, clearly excited, while his father only smiled and nodded his head slightly at him.

_-"What is it ?"_ His mother’s excitement was rubbing off on him and he couldn’t help but start to fidget in his seat.

The amber-eyed woman began filling plates with delicious looking pancakes while she spoke. _“You know how we haven’t been on a vacation in quite some time because your dad has to work a lot ?”_ Eren nodded his head quietly, not seeing where this was going and not wanting to think of how long it had been since their last family vacation. His mother continued a moment later. _“Well your dad has a few days off this week and since you have your holidays and I don’t work, we’re going on a trip to your grandma in Turkey.”_ She finished with a grin.

Eren jumped off his chair and started to ask a million questions. His parents answered most of them calmly, and those they couldn’t answer they left hanging in the air, filling the little boy with more excitement and curiosity by the minute. One thing they all knew for sure was that this trip would be amazing for the Jaeger family.

* * *

 

Levi didn't realize he was crying until his vision had become too blurry for him to see the screen anymore. He quickly wiped at his face and looked around, as if wondering if Eren had seen him. Of course he had, he was probably bloody obvious about his pathetic sobbing. He refused to acknowledge what had made him pour his heart out through his eyes. Maybe he was feeling some kind of nostalgia or maybe he was just devastated at the thought that the cheerful little boy that Eren had been had become so broken that he committed suicide.

It was a lot to take in, but what the brunet wrote next made Levi stop in his tracks. " _Please stop crying"._ The raven haired man wiped his tears off his cheeks for one last time, sniffed a little -even though he would never admit to it- and gave the closest thing to a smile he could get. He murmured a little _'okay'_ under his breath but soon realized his mistake and went to type it down, when another message stopped him yet again.

_"I can hear you Levi. Thank you. Why don't you tell me about you now?"_

Staring at the screen probably wouldn't give him the answers to all this question, but that didn't stop the younger teen from trying. Eren obviously deserved to know his past since he knew practically everything about the other boy, but did that mean it was easy? It should be, easy enough at least, but he had never done this before, how do people tell a story to someone about their deepest darkest memories? Especially if the one you're talking to doesn't seem to be there.

He tried his best to explain everything in detail, telling him his feeling and his fears. Levi told him about being not older than one year old and his uncle taking him in. He never remembered his parents, but he saw pictures and videos of them. He knew they were wonderful people and he was sad because their family never had a chance to begin with, but he never felt the devastating pain of loss. In his eyes, things could have turned out much worse. Maybe something resembling Eren's case, so he was grateful for his caring uncle and the childhood he did have.

**  
** But he couldn't help but feel like talking to Eren was like talking to the walls. It was something he enjoyed greatly, but it would not be an easy feat. Not if he would feel like a mad man every time it happened.


	6. And what an amazing life it was..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The happy ending they deserve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO! Hello lovely peeps! This is the last chapter, and I wanna thank y'all! Can I just say that OVER 500 HITS IS A HUGE DEAL TO ME ? God, and all the kudos and comments, this is amazing! Thank you so much to all of you who stuck till the end of the story, and let me know what you thought, will ya ? THANK YOU AGAIN, YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU! 
> 
> ps. this isn't the last you see of me!

Levi's days were filled of conversations about nothing and everything with a beautiful ghost. However, his nights were even better, because in his dreams, he and Eren could actually see each other. They would go for hours just staring at one another, only mumbling something when it came to their mind. They were intrigued by the other. They were captivated. They were completely in love with each other, but they kept it to themselves. What good would it do to confess to someone who you can't be with?

    Eren had figured out no more than two weeks ago that he could enter Levi's dreams. He'd asked for consent the first time, seeing as how he still thought he was an inconvenience, and annoyance for the raven. The latter reassured him time and again that it was not the case, but Eren seemed to be as hard-headed as ever. Or at least, as he had been before the accident. It happened gradually, so neither of the two really noticed, but Eren was going back to the person he had described in his memories. He was stubborn, determined and funny. He responded to Levi's sarcasm with his own, and he started to feel as though maybe things could be good now.

        It didn't take long for that thought to face the crashing reality that nothing would be going good ever again, since nothing should be happening in the 1st place. He didn't belong here, next to this gorgeous teenager, who was alive and breathing and will be so for a long time. He didn't deserve to take Levi's life away from him only for his selfish desires. He needed to get away. To slowly get detached from the young raven-haired man, and then disappear from his life all-together. It would be for the best. Levi was starting to become too preoccupied with Eren. More interested in talking to a ghost than seeing his friends. More entertained in his dreams than he was by his reality. Eren needed to change that.

     He started to become cold to the youth, only conversing with him when the other started the discussion, and only entering his dreams now and then. Not every night. Never again would he have that privilege. He'd have even less as time passed, if all went well. He then proceeded to respond to Levi's messages with short, generic replies and not visiting his dreams at all. It all happened in the span of a few weeks. He couldn't rush anything, or the teen would figure out where it was going. He couldn't have that. And even he didn't like to admit it, Eren wanted as much time with Levi as he could get.

       But Levi wasn't stupid or blind, so he could easily tell something was changing about them. He didn't like it at all, so when it came to its worst and he hadn't a talked to Eren for a few days now, he demanded, with a voice that left no place for discussion, that Eren started talking about what all this bullshit was, and he started talking now. The brunet was very hesitant, as he was more than sure that Levi would be angry at him, and wouldn't understand that it was for his own good, but the green-eyed man told him anyway. Sugarcoated the fuck out of it too, but Levi reacted exactly as expected. He didn't understand why the only good thing in his life at the moment would do this to him. Why would Eren leave him like this? Had he done something wrong? God he hoped he hadn't. They ended up arguing over it. Eren's decision was final after that. He had become too  close to the younger man, and if he had to break all the ties now, then so be it. He let Levi shout at the empty walls, and then when he was done he wrote a message that would haunt the raven for the rest of his life, kissed Levi on the forehead, and made it so that his presence couldn't be sensed again.

 

* * *

 

      Eren never really left Levi. He couldn't. Not anymore. He had given up that option when he started to get to know the younger man and fell for him, but he didn't regret if for the life of him... Well, for the death of him he guessed.

    He watched over him for the entirety of the man's life. It had taken years of depression and therapy and pain for Levi to get over him, be he had done it. He had grown up and moved past it. It hurt Eren to the core. He had been devastated. But he knew it had been for the best.

   He watched Levi turn to a beautiful, strong man. He was there to see Levi fall in and out of love. To see him experience true friendships and true loss. He was there when the love of his life shed tears and he was there when he had felt the true joys of life. It felt strange. In someway, Eren felt like a guardian angel, but he knew he was far from it. It also felt like he lived his life through the other, and it had been a truly amazing life.

    Levi had went to college and became a writer of all things. He was successful too, after his book made the market. It was about another world. A world much cruel than their own, so maybe he found comfort in writing about something that was worse than what he had. He had fallen in love a few times, had lasting relationships too, but he had never found the love of his life, so somehow, for one reason or the other, his relationships always ended. Somewhere in the back of his head, Levi thought it was because the love of his life was already dead, but he didn't entertain that thought long enough for it to matter. He had found true friends in Hanji and Erwin and Mike. He lost his uncle Kenny when he was 39, but he guessed it couldn't be helped. At least Kenny had died of old age, a peaceful death. He had never settled down, but that was okay with him.

   And then his time came too, and he knew he would die soon. He had lived a life with no regrets, and he had been truly happy. Sometimes his chest would feel empty, but he knew that could never be fixed. After all, Eren had made a pretty big impact, that couldn't be easily covered, but he was okay with that too. He had never forgotten about the ghost, and whenever he did think of him, he just hoped he was in a better place. He missed him of course, but he had come to realize that Eren had been right. And he couldn't thank the other man enough for making that decision for him. The decision to let him live his life.

   He had never expected to see Eren again, but here he was, still 18, still as beautiful as ever, sitting at the side of Levi's bed, looking down at his frail, small body, and smiling softly. Levi was now 68 and he scowled when he saw the other boy. He wasn't as beautiful as he used to be. He was an old man, why did Eren have to see him like this? Why was he seeing Eren now in the first place? He was sure he hadn't fallen asleep, and even if he had, the brat had said he'd never visit him again. Tsk. Fucking liar.

_"What the fuck are doing here kid?"_ He smiled, despite his words. He had truly missed that face, and those eyes, and that hair, and that skin, and that smile. God, that smile.

The brunet chuckled and answered quietly _"Hello Levi. I missed you too. But we'll be seeing each other again soon."_ He leaned down and gave a kiss to Levi's wrinkled forehead. If it was in the exact same spot where he had kissed him last time, neither of them said anything.

Levi knew what the kid meant, and he smiled just at the thought of it. He didn't know how it will all happen, or where he'd go from here, but he knew Eren would be there, this time no bridge between them, and an eternity with the love of his life couldn't sound any better.

**  
**  
  
  
 The next time he opened his eyes, he was 17 again, and the boy that was looking at him like he was the sun and the moon and all of the stars, the boy who meant the whole universe to him as well, whispered slowly "You've kept me waiting." Before softly pressing their lips together in a long-awaited kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, feedback is always appreciated, and huge shout-out to the amazing Emiza, who has helped me a huge deal with this fic. Go give some love, she deserves it. Also, if you haven't read her fics what are you doing here ??? go, read them! do you even internet ?? 
> 
> THANK YOU GUYS! SEE YOU SOON!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so this is the 1st chapter of this fic, and feedback is always highly appreciated. Thanks for reading! I have a tumblr, if any of you wanna be tumblr-buddies: http://whats-in-the-fucking-basement.tumblr.com/


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